If you ever watch a baby, you’ll notice that they have this beautiful curiosity about them. What is more outstanding than their curiosity, though, is their perseverance. When one suffers from a mental illness, we often hit a point where we breakdown. Now, allow me to say, breakdowns are okay! You may be thinking, “What? Who wants to breakdown?” Well, no one, but they are normal. Here is the rule that I follow personally: When a breakdown occurs (and lucky for me, they are reoccurring), I allow myself about 10 minutes to completely cry it out. I mean, full on ugly-cry. When that 10 minutes is up, I clean off my face, drink a cold glass of water (okay…. that was a lie. I drink a RedBull; don’t judge me), and move on with my day. This way, I do not get stuck in the rut of the breakdown. I do not allow it to control or ruin my whole day. Babies are very similar. If you ever watch a baby who is learning how to walk, they try, fall, cry, and then try again. They are relentless, I tell you! We need to regress back towards the good qualities we had as babies. (I would advise against wearing diapers again, but hey, who am I to judge?) The good qualities though; curiosity, perseverance, relentlessness… and hey, even treat yourself to a “bottle” every now and then.
Category: Parenting
Sleepless
When one deals with a mental health disorder such as depression, bipolar, or anxiety, getting the right amount of sleep is SO important. When you have a baby, though, sleep is a sweet, sweet treat that you do not get to taste as often as you’d like. “Sleep when the baby sleeps”, they say, but then when will you get anything done? You’re watching the baby like a hawk when they’re awake and then, when they sleep, you have those piled up, dirty dishes calling your name, laundry needing to be done, dinner begging to be cooked (and believe me, “begging” is the right word, because you’ve barely eaten anything recently, right?) and oh… you want to read a book for leisure? HA, let’s not get ahead of ourselves now, moms or dads. We aren’t superheroes.
So, tell me parents, HOW do you find the time?
A day in the life…
Being a mom is hard enough, but being a mom who “suffers” from bipolar disorder is a whole new level of wtf. I put “suffers” in parenthesis because I do not want to convey the message that bipolar disorder runs my life. I am NOT my disorder; I am ME. Perfectly imperfect with a sprinkle of bipolar and a dash of borderline personality disorder. For anyone else out there who is in a similar situation (mentally-ill and striving to be a great parent), please know that my positive vibes go out to you. It is not easy at all and seems to be a battle almost everyday, if not constantly. If you are willing, I will extend to you your free ride ticket… jump on this wild rollercoaster with me to experience a wide range of emotions; I hope to bring tears to your eyes because you laugh so hard, a smile to your face because you can possible relate to some of my struggles, and the comfort of feeling less alone. Want to take a ride?
Controlled Chaos 